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padding-top:15px; font:78%/1.6em "Trebuchet MS",Trebuchet,Verdana,Sans-serif; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:.1em; } </style> <!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(http://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/697174003-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head> <body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener("load", function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <iframe src="http://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID=14800626&blogName=ryanconnercomedy&publishMode=PUBLISH_MODE_FTP&navbarType=SILVER&layoutType=CLASSIC&searchRoot=http%3A%2F%2Fblogsearch.google.com%2F&blogLocale=en_US&homepageUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ryanconnercomedy.com%2F" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" height="30px" width="100%" id="navbar-iframe" allowtransparency="true" title="Blogger Navigation and Search"></iframe> <div></div> <div id="header"> <h1 id="blog-title"> <a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/blogger.html"> ryanconnercomedy </a> </h1> <p id="description">The blog of comedian Ryan Conner.</p> </div> <!-- Begin #content --> <div id="content"> <!-- Begin #main --> <div id="main"><div id="main2"> <div class='adsense' style='text-align:center; padding: 0px 3px 0.5em 3px;'> <script type="text/javascript"><!-- google_ad_client="pub-5943821654421592"; google_ad_host="pub-1556223355139109"; google_ad_host_channel="00000"; google_ad_width=180; google_ad_height=150; google_ad_format="180x150_as"; google_ad_type="text"; google_color_border="000000"; google_color_bg="000000"; google_color_link="AADD99"; google_color_url="AADD99"; google_color_text="777777"; //--></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"> </script> </div> <h2 class="date-header">Thursday, January 12, 2006</h2> <!-- Begin .post --> <div class="post"><a name="113709504210411046"></a> <h3 class="post-title"> Let's keep it superficial </h3> <div class="post-body"> <div> <div style="clear:both;"></div><p class="MsoNormal">If you are in NY, or know people there, tell them to go to Caroline’s on Broadway on February 8. I’ll be performing on the 7:30 show.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’ve been a huge Bulls fan for about 20 years now. I watch every game on <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">League</st1:PlaceName> <st1:placetype st="on">Pass.</st1:PlaceType></st1:place> And for the past two years, the broadcast crew has been doing something that is ridiculous. At the end of every game, this is said: “We would like to congratulate Kirk Hinrich (or any player) on being the Bulls’ player of the game. For that, he wins a $100 SEARS gift card.” They aren’t even joking about this. No one on the team makes less than a million dollars a year, and they’re giving them a $100 gift certificate… to SEARS? I don’t even shop at SEARS. Why would a millionaire shop there? Like they’re really struggling to find their Docker’s at an affordable price, because retail is just too much. To put it in perspective, that would be like giving you or I a two cent coupon that can only be used towards the purchase of a block of government cheese.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This section is called “Hey, Bank Teller, Just Do Your Job”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I always go to the Bank of America at 18<sup>th</sup> and I St.(That’s right. The Bank of America is also the Bank of Ryan. I love my country.) I refuse to deposit checks via ATM. I know thousands of people do it everyday, but I can’t help but think it’s a scam and someone’s going to take my check, cash it, and pretend it never existed. So, I always go to the human tellers. Most are normal people. They ask how I’m doing. I tell them I’m doing well and send the same question right back. They usually tell me they’re doing well too. But not the guy at the end! He doesn’t understand the protocol. Here’s how it has gone down twice:</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Him: Hi. How are you?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Me: Pretty good, and you?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Him: Could be better, but that’s life… I guess I’ll be better when I get home. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Me: Okay</p> <p class="MsoNormal">[Transaction takes place and he gives me a receipt]</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Him: Enjoy (as if he’s telling me to enjoy money because the bank is making him work for free. They’re a bank. That’s all they have for compensation. Don’t say “Enjoy” to me ever again. You see my checks. There isn’t much to enjoy. How about saying, “Have fun stretching that out over two weeks.”) </p> <p class="MsoNormal">That was a long parenthetical. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Also, “Could be better, but that’s life”? Let’s keep it superficial. There’s no need to open up to me.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Here are a couple links that I found interesting.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">This is from the Drudge Report. I like his site, because it’s a good link page. But whenever he decides to break any news, 99% of the time, it’s garbage. It isn’t necessarily fabricated, but it’s never anything that matters. This is a good example. Ted Kennedy was pressing Alito concerning an organization to which he was affiliated that opposed allowing women into “private institutions.” I think it’s ridiculous to insinuate that Alito is sexist, but Drudge (and the Washington Times, if they decided to run the story) topped Kennedy as he tried to call him out for being a hypocrite. In this post, Drudge quotes “Conservative activists,” which is usually code for “I made this up.” It says that Kennedy belonged to “<tt><span style="font-size: 10pt;">an all-male social club -- the Owl -- at <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Harvard</st1:PlaceName> <st1:placetype st="on">University</st1:PlaceType></st1:place>.”<b> </b></span></tt><tt><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";">An all-male social club? </span></tt><tt><span style="font-size: 10pt;">Ohh, you mean like a fraternity? I don’t think that’s the same as oppressing women. I’m not saying fraternities are doing anything positive for women, but they definitely aren’t opposed to them joining private organizations. If that was the case, they couldn’t have mixers.</span></tt><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://www.drudgereport.com/flash6.htm" target="_blank">http://www.drudgereport.com/flash6.htm</a> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This is interesting too, mainly because the title is such a curveball.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,635175667,00.html" target="_blank">http://deseretnews.com/dn/view/0,1249,635175667,00.html</a> </p><div style="clear:both; padding-bottom:0.25em"></div> </div> </div> <p class="post-footer"> <em>posted by ryanconnercomedy at <a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2006/01/lets-keep-it-superficial.html" title="permanent link">2:43 PM</a></em> <span class="item-action"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=14800626&postID=113709504210411046" title="Email Post"><img class="icon-action" alt="" src="http://www.blogger.com:80/img/icon18_email.gif" height="13" width="18"/></a></span><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1401212062"><a style="border:none;" href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=14800626&postID=113709504210411046" title="Edit Post"><img class="icon-action" alt="" src="http://www.blogger.com:80/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif" height="18" width="18"></a></span> </p> </div> <!-- End .post --> <!-- Begin #comments --> <div id="comments"> <a name="comments"></a> <h4>0 Comments:</h4> <dl id="comments-block"> </dl> <p class="comment-timestamp"> <a class="comment-link" href="https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=14800626&postID=113709504210411046">Post a Comment</a> </p> <p class="comment-timestamp"> <a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/blogger.html"><< Home</a> </p> </div> <!-- End #comments --> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.blogger.com/static/v1/common/js/1499043574-csitaillib.js"></script> <script>if (typeof(window.attachCsiOnload) != 'undefined' && window.attachCsiOnload != null) { window.attachCsiOnload('ext_blogspot'); }</script> </div></div> <!-- End #main --> <!-- Begin #sidebar --> <div id="sidebar"><div id="sidebar2"> <!-- Begin #profile-container --> <div id="profile-container"><h2 class="sidebar-title">About Me</h2> <dl class="profile-datablock"> <dd class="profile-data"><strong>Name:</strong> Ryan Conner </dd> <dd class="profile-data"><strong>Location:</strong> New York, NY, United States </dd></dl> <p class="profile-textblock">I am a stand-up comedian. My website is www.ryanconnercomedy.com</p> <p class="profile-link"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/12434057934993330563">View my complete profile</a></p></div> <!-- End #profile --> <h2 class="sidebar-title">Previous Posts</h2> <ul id="recently"> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2006/01/entertainment.html">Entertainment</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2006/01/medieval-on-yo-ass.html">Medieval on yo' ass</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2006/01/at-least-scarecrow-wanted-brain-aka.html">At Least The Scarecrow Wanted A Brain aka the bath...</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2006/01/ery-body-in-da-club-get-tipsy.html">E'ry body in DA CLUB get tipsy</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2006/01/january-shows.html">January Shows</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2005/12/another-mediocre-post.html">Another mediocre post</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2005/12/subpar-blog-entry.html">Subpar blog entry</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2005/12/picture-updates.html">picture updates</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2005/12/what-if-santa-claus-was-black.html">What if Santa Claus was black?</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2005/12/what-is-santa-claus-was-black.html">What is Santa Claus was black?</a></li> </ul> <p id="powered-by"><a href="http://www.blogger.com"><img src="http://buttons.blogger.com/bloggerbutton1.gif" alt="Powered by Blogger" /></a></p> <!-- <p>This is a paragraph of text that could go in the sidebar.</p> --> </div></div> <!-- End #sidebar --> </div> <!-- End #content --> <!-- Begin #footer --> <div id="footer"><hr /> <p><!--This is an optional footer. 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