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padding-top:15px; font:78%/1.6em "Trebuchet MS",Trebuchet,Verdana,Sans-serif; text-transform:uppercase; letter-spacing:.1em; } </style> <!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(http://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/697174003-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head> <body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener("load", function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <iframe src="http://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID=14800626&blogName=ryanconnercomedy&publishMode=PUBLISH_MODE_FTP&navbarType=SILVER&layoutType=CLASSIC&searchRoot=http%3A%2F%2Fblogsearch.google.com%2F&blogLocale=en_US&homepageUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ryanconnercomedy.com%2F" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" height="30px" width="100%" id="navbar-iframe" allowtransparency="true" title="Blogger Navigation and Search"></iframe> <div></div> <div id="header"> <h1 id="blog-title"> <a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/blogger.html"> ryanconnercomedy </a> </h1> <p id="description">The blog of comedian Ryan Conner.</p> </div> <!-- Begin #content --> <div id="content"> <!-- Begin #main --> <div id="main"><div id="main2"> <div class='adsense' style='text-align:center; padding: 0px 3px 0.5em 3px;'> <script type="text/javascript"><!-- google_ad_client="pub-5943821654421592"; google_ad_host="pub-1556223355139109"; google_ad_host_channel="00000"; google_ad_width=180; google_ad_height=150; google_ad_format="180x150_as"; google_ad_type="text"; google_color_border="000000"; google_color_bg="000000"; google_color_link="AADD99"; google_color_url="AADD99"; google_color_text="777777"; //--></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"> </script> </div> <h2 class="date-header">Monday, January 11, 2010</h2> <!-- Begin .post --> <div class="post"><a name="905575238843478878"></a> <h3 class="post-title"> BREAKING NEWS!!!!! </h3> <div class="post-body"> <div> <div style="clear:both;"></div><div>(Don't worry, this isn't going to be really serious.)</div>I'm a news junkie. I go to about 15 sites a few times a day for news. The sites range all across the political spectrum, and covers newspapers, blogs, and traditional news sites like BBC and CNN. About a year and a half ago, I had to banish Drudge Report after about 10 years of reading it regularly, because it turned into a site dedicated to proving that Obama is some sort of Kenyan-Muslim-Witch with a racist Christian spiritual mentor. It's absurd now.<div>Now Huffington Post is almost in the same boat. Not in the way that it's a leftist-ideologue site like Drudge is a right-wing ideologue site, but in that it's absurd. I like it because they cover some newsworthy subjects that receive little coverage in other outlets. But at the same time, someone like Ian Zeirring will have a column on North Korea on the front page. Last year, there was an article about how people with allergies need to embrace the things they're allergic to, and they'll no longer be allergic. The argument was mind over matter. "If you're allergic to pollen, climb a tree in the Spring... If you're allergic to apples, consume an entire orchard." Science says that either of these things would kill me. But Huffington Post says they'll make me stronger. Hmmm... I wonder which one to do. </div><div>The latest Huffington Post ridiculousness might be the straw that broke the camel's back. This headline has been on the front page for four days: <b><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/08/jonah-falcon-man-with-wor_n_412388.html">Jonah Falcon, Man with World's Largest Penis, Unemployed in New York</a>, </b>while there is no news at all about Iran. A few things: They cite him as if someone says "Jonah Falcon," and we all think, "Oh, that's the guy with the..." And the headline mentions his huge penis as if it's a skill, and implies, "How could the biggest dick in the world not have a job? In New York, of all places? In Boston, sure. But how could the world's biggest dick not find work in New York, surrounded by such inferior dicks?" I've never been to a job interview where that's come up. If Jonah Falcon had the world's most Phd's and was unemployed, he could get some sympathy from me. But I'm not shedding a tear for someone with a 13.5" penis, and no college degree, who can't find a job. The headline might as well be, "Jonah Falcon, Man with World's Sharpest Elbows, Unemployed in New York." Good luck finding a job, Jonah, but everything about the story is irrelevant and nothing close to news. </div><div>I did read the story to try to figure out why it's posted on the Internet. I couldn't figure it out. But there was a funny quote from Jonah. A lot of people think, "Why doesn't he just do porn?" forgetting that penis size isn't the only obstacle preventing every guy from being a porn-star. It's also because some people don't know how to sign up. Jonah Falcon's reasoning for not doing porn is "Nobody would take me seriously. Nobody." That's hilarious. I'm picturing people turning it on, he whips it out, and everyone says, "This is ludicrous! Make it go away!"</div><div style="clear:both; padding-bottom:0.25em"></div> </div> </div> <p class="post-footer"> <em>posted by ryanconnercomedy at <a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2010/01/breaking-news.html" title="permanent link">2:40 PM</a></em> <span class="item-action"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/email-post.g?blogID=14800626&postID=905575238843478878" title="Email Post"><img class="icon-action" alt="" src="http://www.blogger.com:80/img/icon18_email.gif" height="13" width="18"/></a></span><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1401212062"><a style="border:none;" href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=14800626&postID=905575238843478878" title="Edit Post"><img class="icon-action" alt="" src="http://www.blogger.com:80/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif" height="18" width="18"></a></span> </p> </div> <!-- End .post --> <!-- Begin #comments --> <div id="comments"> <a name="comments"></a> <h4>2 Comments:</h4> <dl id="comments-block"> <dt class="comment-poster" id="c4801565460954008643"><a name="c4801565460954008643"></a> <span style="line-height:16px" class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon"><img src="http://www.blogger.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" alt="Blogger" style="display:inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/10167770899519687261" rel="nofollow">Kawthar</a> said... </dt> <dd class="comment-body"> <p>Does this mean the staff of Huffington Post all have huge dicks?</p> </dd> <dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="#4801565460954008643" title="comment permalink">6:21 PM</a> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-2072060329"><a style="border:none;" href="http://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=14800626&postID=4801565460954008643" title="Delete Comment" ><span class="delete-comment-icon"> </span></a></span> </dd> <dt class="comment-poster" id="c6700014094366824244"><a name="c6700014094366824244"></a> <span style="line-height:16px" class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon"><img src="http://www.blogger.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" alt="Blogger" style="display:inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/10167770899519687261" rel="nofollow">Kawthar</a> said... </dt> <dd class="comment-body"> <p>Does this mean the staff of Huffington Post all have huge dicks?</p> </dd> <dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="#6700014094366824244" title="comment permalink">6:22 PM</a> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-2072060329"><a style="border:none;" href="http://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=14800626&postID=6700014094366824244" title="Delete Comment" ><span class="delete-comment-icon"> </span></a></span> </dd> </dl> <p class="comment-timestamp"> <a class="comment-link" href="https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=14800626&postID=905575238843478878">Post a Comment</a> </p> <p class="comment-timestamp"> <a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/blogger.html"><< Home</a> </p> </div> <!-- End #comments --> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.blogger.com/static/v1/common/js/1499043574-csitaillib.js"></script> <script>if (typeof(window.attachCsiOnload) != 'undefined' && window.attachCsiOnload != null) { window.attachCsiOnload('ext_blogspot'); }</script> </div></div> <!-- End #main --> <!-- Begin #sidebar --> <div id="sidebar"><div id="sidebar2"> <!-- Begin #profile-container --> <div id="profile-container"><h2 class="sidebar-title">About Me</h2> <dl class="profile-datablock"> <dd class="profile-data"><strong>Name:</strong> Ryan Conner </dd> <dd class="profile-data"><strong>Location:</strong> New York, NY, United States </dd></dl> <p class="profile-textblock">I am a stand-up comedian. My website is www.ryanconnercomedy.com</p> <p class="profile-link"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/12434057934993330563">View my complete profile</a></p></div> <!-- End #profile --> <h2 class="sidebar-title">Previous Posts</h2> <ul id="recently"> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2010/01/movie-recommendation.html">Movie Recommendation</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2010/01/omg-funny-stuff-on-blog-lol-power.html">OMG, Funny Stuff on the Blog, LOL, Power Rankings,...</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2009/12/updates.html">Updates...</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2009/12/jim-morrison.html">Jim Morrison</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2009/12/you-two-should-link-up.html">You Two Should Link Up</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2009/12/mtv-has-done-it-again.html">MTV has done it again</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2009/11/twitter.html">Twitter</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2009/11/tales-from-chinaland-part-something.html">Tales from Chinaland, Part Something: Vengeance!</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2009/11/this-is-one-of-best-music-videos-you.html">This is one of the best music videos you will ever...</a></li> <li><a href="http://www.ryanconnercomedy.com/2009/11/china-part-5-things-happened.html">China Part 5: Things Happened!</a></li> </ul> <p id="powered-by"><a href="http://www.blogger.com"><img src="http://buttons.blogger.com/bloggerbutton1.gif" alt="Powered by Blogger" /></a></p> <!-- <p>This is a paragraph of text that could go in the sidebar.</p> --> </div></div> <!-- End #sidebar --> </div> <!-- End #content --> <!-- Begin #footer --> <div id="footer"><hr /> <p><!--This is an optional footer. 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